9 answers
Autumn
Student
Elk River, Minnesota
2
Questions
Updated
838 views
How do you deal with social anxiety, when having a lot of social contact?
Being a hostess or waitress, there is a lot of social contact. I would like it to be my first or second job, but I think it might be hard for me because of my anxiety.
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9 answers
Tori McDevitt
Human Resources
5
Answers
Brigantine
Updated
Tori’s Answer
Autumn, the first step is recognizing and understanding yourself. Social anxiety is very hard to identify within one self. I would recommend you prioritize your mental health and seek professional mental health, if available.
One thing you can do is find your tribe or someone within your job to be comfortable with when you're in times of high social anxiety. Having a partner or friend nearby to confide in will make you feel not so alone. Find tools that work for you and your mental health.
One thing you can do is find your tribe or someone within your job to be comfortable with when you're in times of high social anxiety. Having a partner or friend nearby to confide in will make you feel not so alone. Find tools that work for you and your mental health.
Thanks for the advice.
Autumn
Nitanshi Saxena
Management Consultant
4
Answers
Pune, Maharashtra, India
Updated
Nitanshi’s Answer
Hi Autumn,
When dealing with social anxiety in roles requiring frequent social contact like being a hostess or waitress, it's essential to focus on self-care, including relaxation techniques, positive self-talk, and gradual exposure to social situations. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor experienced in treating anxiety can also provide valuable strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs. Remember, facing your fears gradually and with support can help build confidence over time.
When dealing with social anxiety in roles requiring frequent social contact like being a hostess or waitress, it's essential to focus on self-care, including relaxation techniques, positive self-talk, and gradual exposure to social situations. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor experienced in treating anxiety can also provide valuable strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs. Remember, facing your fears gradually and with support can help build confidence over time.
Thanks for the help.
Autumn
Ciara-Beth Griffin
Experience Analyst
14
Answers
Galway
Updated
Ciara-Beth’s Answer
Social Anxiety can be difficult to live with, and you're definitely not alone!
Some people find the more they face situations that cause them social anxiety, the less severe their symptoms feel. Other techniques such as deep breathing are helpful for some people. For me, I find doing mental maths can be helpful; it takes my mind off of the situation long enough for me to be able to reframe my thinking.
If therapy is an option that you can access, I highly recommend it too
Some people find the more they face situations that cause them social anxiety, the less severe their symptoms feel. Other techniques such as deep breathing are helpful for some people. For me, I find doing mental maths can be helpful; it takes my mind off of the situation long enough for me to be able to reframe my thinking.
If therapy is an option that you can access, I highly recommend it too
Richard Tracy - IMBA
Sales
17
Answers
Batavia, Illinois
Updated
Richard’s Answer
Whenever this comes up just remember that it's not about you.
A restaurant is a perfect example, people do not go to restaurants to sit around and judge waiters and make their lives difficult.
People go to restaurants to eat.
So don't worry about social anxiety, go to work and have fun! If people go to restaurants to eat and you are working and bringing them their food they're going to love you!
It would be the same thing if you were selling cars. If someone goes to an automotive dealership because they want to buy a car then they will be very appreciative of a salesperson who is helpful and able to assist them in picking the perfect vehicle that makes them very happy for the next 5 or 10 years!
Always remember that when you are in a position where you interact with a client and you have the opportunity to give them exactly what they are looking for they're going to be very happy and you're going to have a very very fun job that you enjoy! When you make your best effort people appreciate it and recognize it.
A restaurant is a perfect example, people do not go to restaurants to sit around and judge waiters and make their lives difficult.
People go to restaurants to eat.
So don't worry about social anxiety, go to work and have fun! If people go to restaurants to eat and you are working and bringing them their food they're going to love you!
It would be the same thing if you were selling cars. If someone goes to an automotive dealership because they want to buy a car then they will be very appreciative of a salesperson who is helpful and able to assist them in picking the perfect vehicle that makes them very happy for the next 5 or 10 years!
Always remember that when you are in a position where you interact with a client and you have the opportunity to give them exactly what they are looking for they're going to be very happy and you're going to have a very very fun job that you enjoy! When you make your best effort people appreciate it and recognize it.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Autumn
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
6180
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Autumn,
I have been prohibited from prescribing foods, nutrients, or supplements on this site.
Let's increase your experience in dealing with these challenging interactions. Examine what mindset comes over you in these social situations. Negative thoughts and expectations need to be done away with. Positivity is needed.
Smiling is three-quarters of what is required. Reassurance helps too, not a wall of silence. Commenting on their nice choice of garments helps, positive comments always do. Ask how they found out about you too.
Always thank the visitors for coming to see you. Ask them when they will be returning. Tell them you will be looking forward to that! Escort them around the property and ask if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
GOD BLESS!
James.
I have been prohibited from prescribing foods, nutrients, or supplements on this site.
Let's increase your experience in dealing with these challenging interactions. Examine what mindset comes over you in these social situations. Negative thoughts and expectations need to be done away with. Positivity is needed.
Smiling is three-quarters of what is required. Reassurance helps too, not a wall of silence. Commenting on their nice choice of garments helps, positive comments always do. Ask how they found out about you too.
Always thank the visitors for coming to see you. Ask them when they will be returning. Tell them you will be looking forward to that! Escort them around the property and ask if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
GOD BLESS!
James.
TJ Xia
OSA Fellow, Verizon Master Inventor, Author of Books
26
Answers
Dallas, Texas
Updated
TJ’s Answer
In my view, social anxiety stems from the discomfort that arises when encountering unfamiliar people. This unease often comes from the fear of making a negative impression and uncertainty about the other person's perception of you. However, there's a simple concept that can help alleviate these concerns: symmetrical thinking. Remember, just as you're concerned about what they think of you, they're likely feeling the same about your opinion of them. This is a common experience for many people. So, stay calm, project friendliness, and you'll discover that others are likely to respond in kind.
Thanks for the help.
Autumn
angela Xu
chief of staff
2
Answers
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Updated
angela’s Answer
Autumn,
Without specific supporting statistics, I found those who suffer from social anxiety are usually responsive people. They have lots of social media contacts, and want to be responsive to all messages/react on all posts. They want to be nice to their friends. When there is a "not-so-positive comment" appears, it ruins your day. It takes big amount of energy and time from their working and personal life.
I would first look at my own calendar and priority my task lists. I will not let social media dominate my calendar. I would allocate a specific time slot in my days to social media, and turn off notifications for some social media/contacts.
I would also add an activity in my routines that force myself not be with my phone - maybe swimming for a hour every week. After being used to that hour without social media, I will add more time to not with a phone.
I feel better when I completed things I think are important. I'm productive when I focus on doing one thing at a time. Hope it helps.
Good luck.
Without specific supporting statistics, I found those who suffer from social anxiety are usually responsive people. They have lots of social media contacts, and want to be responsive to all messages/react on all posts. They want to be nice to their friends. When there is a "not-so-positive comment" appears, it ruins your day. It takes big amount of energy and time from their working and personal life.
I would first look at my own calendar and priority my task lists. I will not let social media dominate my calendar. I would allocate a specific time slot in my days to social media, and turn off notifications for some social media/contacts.
I would also add an activity in my routines that force myself not be with my phone - maybe swimming for a hour every week. After being used to that hour without social media, I will add more time to not with a phone.
I feel better when I completed things I think are important. I'm productive when I focus on doing one thing at a time. Hope it helps.
Good luck.
Mattea Jones
Software Engineer
2
Answers
San Francisco, California
Updated
Mattea’s Answer
I was a waitress as my second career. It was actually incredibly helpful for my anxiety about talking to strangers and making phone calls to businesses.
The first change I noticed was I had scripts to talk about ordinary situations with people, and because I talked to so many people I got an idea which ones worked best. Answering phones meant I'm now more confident calling people.
Having the daily practice working with people made me realize most people actually wanted to talk to me, even if they didn't know me. People usually smiled at me while they were ordering, and a good amount of people asked me how I was doing or stopped me to talk to me about their day when I dropped their food off at the table. I'm sure some of that is a reflection of my privilege, but it was still more genuine interest and not just politeness than I would have ever expected.
I do want to tell you that sometimes people do come in to restaurants to yell at the staff. That sentence would have scared me off of the job completely before I started, but that's not my intent - it actually that helped me too. I was never yelled at because of anything I did. I was yelled at because of mild inconveniences to people who were already angry and looking to take it out on some poor person who is required to interact with them. Social anxiety come with a lot of worrying about the small things you do turning into dramatic results and everyone being mad at you, but when people were mad at me for small things I didn't take it as personally as I thought I would. It's also rare. Kind people are much more common. Having this experience means I'm also very careful not to be that kind of person to service industry workers.
Being a waitress was still a lot of emotional work to unwind from, even if you don't get yelled at or you're not beating yourself up about it. If that end up being something you struggle with, I think this is something that it would be helpful to go over with a therapist, if that is financially available to you. They should be able to help you view how you are interacting with people in other ways, and help you find ways to grow and cope in a healthy manner.
There are a lot of restaurant jobs, and a lot of turnover. Once you have some experience, it should be fairly easy for you to get other restaurant jobs, and with the high turnover you're unlikely to be judged for leaving after a short time. That means this is a low risk thing to try and see if it works for you! Some restaurants will be better than others, especially with how much support you get from your managers.
This might be hard, but I suggest keeping an open mind about it and trying it out. I believe you can do it. Hopefully, it will even be good for you, like it was for me. And if it isn't, remember that you can quit and try something else.
The first change I noticed was I had scripts to talk about ordinary situations with people, and because I talked to so many people I got an idea which ones worked best. Answering phones meant I'm now more confident calling people.
Having the daily practice working with people made me realize most people actually wanted to talk to me, even if they didn't know me. People usually smiled at me while they were ordering, and a good amount of people asked me how I was doing or stopped me to talk to me about their day when I dropped their food off at the table. I'm sure some of that is a reflection of my privilege, but it was still more genuine interest and not just politeness than I would have ever expected.
I do want to tell you that sometimes people do come in to restaurants to yell at the staff. That sentence would have scared me off of the job completely before I started, but that's not my intent - it actually that helped me too. I was never yelled at because of anything I did. I was yelled at because of mild inconveniences to people who were already angry and looking to take it out on some poor person who is required to interact with them. Social anxiety come with a lot of worrying about the small things you do turning into dramatic results and everyone being mad at you, but when people were mad at me for small things I didn't take it as personally as I thought I would. It's also rare. Kind people are much more common. Having this experience means I'm also very careful not to be that kind of person to service industry workers.
Being a waitress was still a lot of emotional work to unwind from, even if you don't get yelled at or you're not beating yourself up about it. If that end up being something you struggle with, I think this is something that it would be helpful to go over with a therapist, if that is financially available to you. They should be able to help you view how you are interacting with people in other ways, and help you find ways to grow and cope in a healthy manner.
There are a lot of restaurant jobs, and a lot of turnover. Once you have some experience, it should be fairly easy for you to get other restaurant jobs, and with the high turnover you're unlikely to be judged for leaving after a short time. That means this is a low risk thing to try and see if it works for you! Some restaurants will be better than others, especially with how much support you get from your managers.
This might be hard, but I suggest keeping an open mind about it and trying it out. I believe you can do it. Hopefully, it will even be good for you, like it was for me. And if it isn't, remember that you can quit and try something else.
Arianna Pride
Senior Operations Manager
11
Answers
Scottsdale, Arizona
Updated
Arianna’s Answer
I hope this message finds you well!
I see that you're considering a job as a hostess or waitress, but you're feeling anxious about managing your social anxiety in such a customer-facing role. It's completely normal to feel nervous about stepping into a new environment, especially one that involves interacting with others, but I want to assure you that it's possible to navigate this challenge with confidence! I suffer from social anxiety especially with new people and trust me it gets better & there are ways to manage it.
Here are a few tips to help you manage your social anxiety & thrive in a job in hospitality:
Start Small: Take small steps to gradually build your confidence in social situations. Practice talking to friends, family members, or acquaintances in low-pressure settings to get more comfortable with conversation and interaction. Remember, it's okay to start small and work your way up at your own pace.
Embrace Your Strengths: While social anxiety can present challenges, it's important to recognize your strengths and qualities that make you well-suited for a role as a hostess. Your empathy, attention to detail, and dedication to providing excellent customer service are invaluable assets that can shine through in this role.
Focus on the Task at Hand: As a hostess, your primary focus will be on managing the seating arrangements, greeting guests, and ensuring a smooth flow of traffic in the restaurant. By focusing on the tasks at hand and staying present in the moment, you can redirect your attention away from anxious thoughts and channel your energy into providing excellent service to customers.
Preparation Is Key: Preparation can help alleviate anxiety and boost your confidence in social situations. Take the time to familiarize yourself with the restaurant layout, menu items, and common procedures before starting your job. Knowing what to expect can help you feel more at ease and prepared to handle any challenges that may arise.
Practice Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and self-doubt with positive affirmations and self-talk. Remind yourself of your strengths, past successes, and the progress you've made in managing your social anxiety. Believe in yourself and your ability to handle the challenges of your new job with grace and confidence.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can offer guidance and encouragement as you navigate your job in hospitality. You're not alone in your journey, and there are people who care about you and want to see you succeed.
Practice Self-Care: Self-care is essential for managing social anxiety and maintaining your well-being, especially in a customer-facing role. Prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family members.
Celebrate Your Progress: Remember to celebrate your achievements and progress, no matter how small. Each interaction you navigate successfully and each challenge you overcome is a testament to your resilience and courage. Be proud of yourself for taking steps outside of your comfort zone and growing as a person.
Ultimately, only you can decide if a job as a hostess is the right fit for you. Trust your instincts, be kind to yourself, and remember that it's okay to take things one step at a time. You have the strength and resilience to overcome challenges and pursue your goals!
Hope this helps!
I see that you're considering a job as a hostess or waitress, but you're feeling anxious about managing your social anxiety in such a customer-facing role. It's completely normal to feel nervous about stepping into a new environment, especially one that involves interacting with others, but I want to assure you that it's possible to navigate this challenge with confidence! I suffer from social anxiety especially with new people and trust me it gets better & there are ways to manage it.
Here are a few tips to help you manage your social anxiety & thrive in a job in hospitality:
Start Small: Take small steps to gradually build your confidence in social situations. Practice talking to friends, family members, or acquaintances in low-pressure settings to get more comfortable with conversation and interaction. Remember, it's okay to start small and work your way up at your own pace.
Embrace Your Strengths: While social anxiety can present challenges, it's important to recognize your strengths and qualities that make you well-suited for a role as a hostess. Your empathy, attention to detail, and dedication to providing excellent customer service are invaluable assets that can shine through in this role.
Focus on the Task at Hand: As a hostess, your primary focus will be on managing the seating arrangements, greeting guests, and ensuring a smooth flow of traffic in the restaurant. By focusing on the tasks at hand and staying present in the moment, you can redirect your attention away from anxious thoughts and channel your energy into providing excellent service to customers.
Preparation Is Key: Preparation can help alleviate anxiety and boost your confidence in social situations. Take the time to familiarize yourself with the restaurant layout, menu items, and common procedures before starting your job. Knowing what to expect can help you feel more at ease and prepared to handle any challenges that may arise.
Practice Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and self-doubt with positive affirmations and self-talk. Remind yourself of your strengths, past successes, and the progress you've made in managing your social anxiety. Believe in yourself and your ability to handle the challenges of your new job with grace and confidence.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can offer guidance and encouragement as you navigate your job in hospitality. You're not alone in your journey, and there are people who care about you and want to see you succeed.
Practice Self-Care: Self-care is essential for managing social anxiety and maintaining your well-being, especially in a customer-facing role. Prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family members.
Celebrate Your Progress: Remember to celebrate your achievements and progress, no matter how small. Each interaction you navigate successfully and each challenge you overcome is a testament to your resilience and courage. Be proud of yourself for taking steps outside of your comfort zone and growing as a person.
Ultimately, only you can decide if a job as a hostess is the right fit for you. Trust your instincts, be kind to yourself, and remember that it's okay to take things one step at a time. You have the strength and resilience to overcome challenges and pursue your goals!
Hope this helps!