When do you know when you are pushing yourself too hard or just need to toughen up in school?

Hi Janiyah,

Right off the bat, I want to commend you for asking such a self-aware question so early on. Many students trudge along on their path, wear themselves out too thin, and are surprised when they burn-out. So you should be proud of yourself for having the idea to check-in with your mental health and well-being.

At the same time, I am sorry to say that there is no "standard" for when you can immediately say "I am pushing myself too hard," or "I need to toughen up". That threshold is different for everyone and something you will have to learn for yourself.

From my experience, the likelihood of you doing too much is much higher than the likelihood of you doing too little. Just the fact that you are inclined to signed up for a lot of classes and clubs leads me to believe you are erring more on the side of too much. In fact, let me just dispel the belief there is a such thing as "too little". I didn't participate in any clubs my freshman year - I just focused on balancing my school and my social life and my sport. I have nothing extra to show for that year, but it gave me a much better perception sophomore year to know what I could handle on my plate. Seriously - I did zip and I don't regret it.

When you go to these extra-curricular fairs, don't meander or else you might sign up for too much. Identify a few fields you want to go into or skills you want to have and make a bee-line for those select few clubs that align with those qualities. That way, you have all your bases covered and you spent quality time face to face with people in the club you wanted to see.

There is only a few reasons why you should sign up for a club. One is that you're passionate about the matter or you think you might be and you want to try it out. Do you like volunteering? Go for it. Do you like engineering abroad? Sign up! Do you like writing? Try your hand at writing articles for the school paper. If you do a club for any other reason, you should seriously consider why. An extracurricular should not be a chore, an obligation that drains energy from your day instead of giving you energy. Your time is valuable! Spend it wisely.

And if you're worried about not having enough clubs on your resume or even as much as the person next to you, remember this: quality over quantity. It is always better to have a few quality extracurriculars that you love, can talk avidly about, and are in leadership positions than 10 diverse club experiences where you are simply a member and couldn't care less about. The more committed you are to a cause, the more impressive you become.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself when you are considering whether you are pushing yourself too hard or whether you need a break:

What are some things that are important to me that I will not compromise on. Is this commitment preventing me from doing those things? (I need 8 hours of sleep. I do not want to skip a meal. I need at least 2 hours a day to do my homework.)

What do I want out of school? Is this commitment in-line with my vision/ future goal? (I want to become a writer. Maybe I shouldn't waste time talking to the French club. I really want to dive into cultural clubs. Maybe I should sacrifice this computer club meeting time to do that.)

What do I need more right now: sleep or this commitment? Will this commitment matter to me in the long run? If I prioritize my commitments, what is at the bottom?

One last thing Janiyah, remember that your well-being is your highest priority. If your gut tells you that you need to slow down, listen to yourself and you can't go wrong.