8 answers
Abby
CareerVillage.org TeamStudent
Rochester, New York
20
Questions
Asked
1279 views
How can I cope with the sadness of leaving college?
I'm approaching my last semester as an undergraduate, and I'm already sad about leaving a really phenomenal friend group, campus, and community behind. Many people I talk to say that college is the best time of your life, and I'm worried that I'll have more to look back on than to look forward to.
Can I hear some stories from professionals who came out of undergrad and found a lot of joy wherever they ended up?
#undergrad #career-transition #graduation #community #campus
Login to comment
8 answers
Ben McCalmont
Strategy
1
Answer
Morristown, New Jersey
Updated
Ben’s Answer
Hi Abby;
First know that most people felt that way! Apart from college being amazing any kind of change is hard! My advice would be to make a plan that focusses on your happiness just as much as your career choices and living arrangements.
I've emigrated twice and both times used a simple tool to see what will change any ho I can balance my new life. One (free tool) I've used is "The wheel of Life" but use anything you want. The point is to think about the things at College that make you happy e.g. Friends; Social; Sports; Charity etc.. Score them to see which ones have the greatest impact on your happiness. Then think about next year - which ones are the most important to you to protect? Will you get some new ones like moving closer to family; old friends or new work colleagues? If you see gaps - make a plan! Look at local gyms; social groups; volunteering orgs; sports teams etc. There's always something fun to try!
In summary a plan could reduce nerves but also it's great to just acknowledge that things will change but deciding to do something about it to take control!
Good luck and remember everyone went through this stage; nerves are totally valid and you are not alone!
First know that most people felt that way! Apart from college being amazing any kind of change is hard! My advice would be to make a plan that focusses on your happiness just as much as your career choices and living arrangements.
I've emigrated twice and both times used a simple tool to see what will change any ho I can balance my new life. One (free tool) I've used is "The wheel of Life" but use anything you want. The point is to think about the things at College that make you happy e.g. Friends; Social; Sports; Charity etc.. Score them to see which ones have the greatest impact on your happiness. Then think about next year - which ones are the most important to you to protect? Will you get some new ones like moving closer to family; old friends or new work colleagues? If you see gaps - make a plan! Look at local gyms; social groups; volunteering orgs; sports teams etc. There's always something fun to try!
In summary a plan could reduce nerves but also it's great to just acknowledge that things will change but deciding to do something about it to take control!
Good luck and remember everyone went through this stage; nerves are totally valid and you are not alone!
I appreciate this, thank you for the advice.
Abby, Admin
Kathryn Sax
Retired School Counselor
2
Answers
Anderson, South Carolina
Updated
Kathryn’s Answer
Hi Abby such a great question! I too had such a wonderful college experience and made several lifelong friends that I have maintained for forty years! I moved far away from my home state for graduate school, work and then settling into my adult life. I have made incredible friends from each stage of life and have kept in touch through holiday cards and letters, Facebook and occasional visits. I've also attended reunions from time to time and seen a broader circle of former friends and acquaintances that way. Make a point to keep up with your close friends; it is well worth the effort! But each stage of your life will bring new experiences and people who share your interests. I'm glad college was such a great time for you; if you approach your adult life with that much gusto and enthusiasm you'll likely find the same rewarding friendships await you in the future!
Sanjana A
19
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Sanjana’s Answer
While I am not a professional yet, I can understand why you are feeling that way. Up until high school, many individuals viewed college as the time to explore, learn, and meet lifelong friends - it supposedly being the "best time of our lives."
Well, what happens after this supposedly "best time" is over? Is there nothing else to look forward to? WRONG
I am sure you will miss the memories made in college and the people you have met. However, there are so many other chapters in life to look forward to. While the transition to the corporate world may seem scary, it is all a path of learning and exploring!
Well, what happens after this supposedly "best time" is over? Is there nothing else to look forward to? WRONG
I am sure you will miss the memories made in college and the people you have met. However, there are so many other chapters in life to look forward to. While the transition to the corporate world may seem scary, it is all a path of learning and exploring!
Nicole Nelson
Head of Sales and Operations
29
Answers
American Fork, Utah
Updated
Nicole’s Answer
I had the same concerns! But don't fear, life after college can be just as great. I spent my new found free time diving deep into new hobbies such as golf and pickleball. I found new groups and friends through my new efforts. Life after college is still lots of fun. It does take more effort, but the friends and people in your life will become like family and a support system.
Vee Bell
Manager, Purpose Office
4
Answers
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Updated
Vee’s Answer
Such a great question - and one that follows you as you transition from job to job or organization/company to another. Whenever one challenge (college, job, etc) comes to a close you have an opportunity to bring friends, colleagues, classmates and teachers/mentors on your next journey with you.
What I've done is:
1. Identify who are close friends I will stay in close contact with and get time on the calendar for video calls or set up a plan (we use Marco Polo or another app to do video voice messages to each other!). These folks will be with you regardless of professional connection. These are folks I'll check in on all the time. I do find a schedule helps me maintain friendship bonds, especially as we move to new states, cities, and have different commitments.
2. Identify who I want to keep in touch with because I learned a lot from them and I may be able to help them as well - I get connected to them on Linkedin or another social media space AND I ensure I have them in my email, pen pal, phone call rotation. I try to connect with these folks ever 4 to 6 months so we can stay in touch! I'll do a longer email or letter when I change jobs and want them to know what I'm up to - and to invite them to share with me - with no expectation I'll hear back from them.
3. Identify who you'd like to stay connected with but aren't prioritizing because you don't know if they're #1 or #2. These are folks I follow on socials or send a yearly email to (pending the preference you have!). I have folks in this bucket from 20+ years ago that, though I don't talk to them often, they know who I am when I DO reach out to say "hey, I have an idea I think we could work on together!!" - which can then move them up into #1 or #2.
Hope this tactical answer might help you (I know I always like the "but HOW do I do this" answer!).
What I've done is:
1. Identify who are close friends I will stay in close contact with and get time on the calendar for video calls or set up a plan (we use Marco Polo or another app to do video voice messages to each other!). These folks will be with you regardless of professional connection. These are folks I'll check in on all the time. I do find a schedule helps me maintain friendship bonds, especially as we move to new states, cities, and have different commitments.
2. Identify who I want to keep in touch with because I learned a lot from them and I may be able to help them as well - I get connected to them on Linkedin or another social media space AND I ensure I have them in my email, pen pal, phone call rotation. I try to connect with these folks ever 4 to 6 months so we can stay in touch! I'll do a longer email or letter when I change jobs and want them to know what I'm up to - and to invite them to share with me - with no expectation I'll hear back from them.
3. Identify who you'd like to stay connected with but aren't prioritizing because you don't know if they're #1 or #2. These are folks I follow on socials or send a yearly email to (pending the preference you have!). I have folks in this bucket from 20+ years ago that, though I don't talk to them often, they know who I am when I DO reach out to say "hey, I have an idea I think we could work on together!!" - which can then move them up into #1 or #2.
Hope this tactical answer might help you (I know I always like the "but HOW do I do this" answer!).
Alejandra Zelaya
Senior Analyst
54
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Alejandra’s Answer
Hi Abby,
This is a great question and you should know EVERYONE feels this way. I've been out of college now for 4 years and I will say the first year was very very hard. It's a huge adjustment even if you don't move cities, or get a new friend group.
I want to promise you, there is SO MUCH joy to have outside of college. Yes, college is the last time you don't have bills, you can sleep in all you want, you can hang out with friends all the time, etc... but there are also a lot of restrictions! What is amazing about post-college is you get the chance to fully actualize as a person. What you do everyday, who you hang out with, the hobbies you pick up have nothing to do with something you HAVE to do (like go class, or run into people because you live on campus).
Some of my favorite things that have happened for me post-college is I found my dream job, I learned SOO much about myself and now the friends I have are so much of a richer bong and genuine kindness for one another. Oh, the best part.. I wanted a cat so I got one, his name is Giovanni!
Bottom line- graduating is going to be super-duper hard, it's hard for everyone! But life after college can be amazing if you go into it excited, ready to learn about yourself, and willing to explore everything else life has to offer (:
Good luck!
This is a great question and you should know EVERYONE feels this way. I've been out of college now for 4 years and I will say the first year was very very hard. It's a huge adjustment even if you don't move cities, or get a new friend group.
I want to promise you, there is SO MUCH joy to have outside of college. Yes, college is the last time you don't have bills, you can sleep in all you want, you can hang out with friends all the time, etc... but there are also a lot of restrictions! What is amazing about post-college is you get the chance to fully actualize as a person. What you do everyday, who you hang out with, the hobbies you pick up have nothing to do with something you HAVE to do (like go class, or run into people because you live on campus).
Some of my favorite things that have happened for me post-college is I found my dream job, I learned SOO much about myself and now the friends I have are so much of a richer bong and genuine kindness for one another. Oh, the best part.. I wanted a cat so I got one, his name is Giovanni!
Bottom line- graduating is going to be super-duper hard, it's hard for everyone! But life after college can be amazing if you go into it excited, ready to learn about yourself, and willing to explore everything else life has to offer (:
Good luck!
Jeremy Greene
Geophysicist
10
Answers
Houston, Texas
Updated
Jeremy’s Answer
Omg, you don’t have to say goodbye to your friends and associates, you make new ones!
I loved being in school too, but being out meeting new people who have experience in your field is at first scary, but very invigorating and exciting. Just remember all those you meet were new too at one time!
I loved being in school too, but being out meeting new people who have experience in your field is at first scary, but very invigorating and exciting. Just remember all those you meet were new too at one time!
Trudi Parker
Claims Manager II
29
Answers
Gorham, Maine
Updated
Trudi’s Answer
It is definitely a sad, scary, happy time all at once, graduating from college. You then may go right into your career and find out you are working 8 hours plus a day, 5 days plus a week, doing the same thing over and over. However, I think keeping in touch with your college alumni and seeing all the things people are doing is one way to be excited about what you are doing. Take on developmental projects at work. Explore other positions at your new job. Keep engaged in your hobbies and activities you were doing in college that you liked. You will find a new group of friends in your new profession. It is not as easy with remote work, but you can still join groups and activities virtually. Another way to get engaged is to volunteer either with people at work or on your own. Find a cause or a passion.