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Ask a letter of reference from your old boss - 3 years no contact?

I'm going back to school after a few years of work. The school requests 2 letters of references but I haven't contacted my old employers for 3 years (I left during covid, and have been working remotely since for another company). Should I reach out to them on Linkedin and ask over there? Or should I ask them out for a coffee?

I feel leaning towards option 1 as it might be more time-efficient for both? But would that request be viewed as more "cold" ?

What do you think?

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Dina’s Answer

Hi Dublin,

What a thoughtful question!

I believe that you can’t go wrong with either option, but I may be inclined to ask via LinkedIn or email.

As someone who has requested and written letters of recommendations, I have found that most people consider being a professional reference to be part of their role, even if you no longer work there. Likely, they have had to ask for references too and are happy to return the favor.

If they do not respond to your request or decline, then you can send a follow up and offer to catch up over coffee.

Best of luck with the process!
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Jacob’s Answer

Reaching out to your old boss for a letter of reference after a few years can be a sensitive task, but it's certainly doable. Here's a thoughtful approach to consider:

1. **LinkedIn Message**: Start by sending a polite and friendly message on LinkedIn. Mention that you're returning to school and that you valued the experience you gained while working for their company. Express your appreciation for their guidance during your time there.

2. **Recall Positive Experiences**: Remind them of some specific positive experiences or projects you worked on together. This can help rekindle their memory and make your request more personalized.

3. **Explain Your Request**: Be clear about your request for a letter of reference. Explain why their perspective would be valuable and how their recommendation could benefit your academic pursuits. Highlight your academic and career goals.

4. **Offer Flexibility**: Be understanding of their time constraints and availability. Offer to meet them for a coffee if they prefer that, but also mention that you're open to whatever method suits them best, whether it's a Zoom call or email correspondence.

5. **Provide Necessary Details**: Offer to provide any additional information they might need to write a compelling letter, such as your resume, a summary of your academic goals, or specific achievements from your time at their company.

6. **Follow Up with Gratitude**: Regardless of their response, follow up with a heartfelt thank-you message. Express your gratitude for their time and willingness to support your academic journey.

Remember that while it might feel "cold" to reach out after several years, many professionals understand the importance of academic and career growth. If you had a positive working relationship with your old boss, they may be more than willing to help. Approach the request with respect and professionalism, and you're likely to receive a positive response.
Thank you comment icon Great amswer! Cindy Brickey
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Burde Prerana’s Answer

Strike a balance between personal and professional communication by reaching out via text or email instead of a LinkedIn message. Clearly outline the journey you're about to embark on.

Take the initiative and invite them for a coffee catch-up, giving them the freedom to choose whether they'd like to meet or not. As we're the ones asking for a reference letter, it's important to be flexible and open to their preferences.
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James Constantine’s Answer

If the individual you're considering was once your superior, they're likely to let past issues slide and adopt a "let bygones be bygones" attitude. I reached out to a friendly doctor I used to work with, and although it's been over a decade, he didn't dismiss me outright. Instead, he simply stated that he couldn't recall all the specifics. But imagine a boss with a sharp memory, a congenial personality, a genuinely good individual - aren't those the kind we need more of? They would be excellent at providing an honest reference. This is the kind of person who could confidently stand before a court of law and provide evidence, even five years after a serious event.
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Sean’s Answer

You are doing the right thing right out of the gate here Dublin! Always make sure to ask and don't just put a reference down thinking they will remember you when they get a random call from a college or prospective employer. I think the email requesting their OK to be used as a reference is a good approach.
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Amalya’s Answer

Such a good question!
You can use social media to find them. But when asking for a reference, it would be a better option to give them a phone call. Also, you can ask which option is good for them during that process. When meeting/talking to them, you can mention how valuable your experience was in their company. And also that even after years, you think they can help you again, but this time not for work, but study. So you can build your conversation and reference request around these topics.
All the best.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing your perspective. Dublin
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Darren’s Answer

Linkedin would be fine, but you can also invite them out for a coffee on Linkedin
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