8 answers
Shaina
Student
Bacolod, Western Visayas, Philippines
32
Questions
Asked
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How can you cultivate who you are outside of work?
I struggle with this problem. It seems that I am no one outside of my work. I strive to do my job well. I am satisfied and enjoy but other than that even after the work; I feel like having another "me" outside of work is difficult.
I don't have hobbies. I don't sing or dance nor do arts and crafts or sports. I am not a fan of kpop or anime. I lack the socialization aspect. When I share things, It's always about work. I lack to show or have "me" outside work.
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8 answers
David Hanley
Technical Solutioner
2
Answers
Brno, Czechia
Updated
David’s Answer
Hi Shaina,
This is a GREAT question, it is lovely to see that you have the introspection to be able to identify this part of yourself and have the desire to grow it.
The first things Id like to get across are:
1 - This is totally normal.
I have many colleagues and friends who are in the same boat, they lack a work life balance, especially after the COVID lock down period, and their sole focus on life is on work, their career, and the next meeting. This is even at 30, 40 years old, people who have a family and responsibilities outside of work, still struggle with this question.
2 - There is no right answer.
That is a lovely thing to hear in a place where you came to get all the right answers isn't it?
What might fit for you now, wont fit for you in a few years time, and it certainly wont fit for you in 20 years time. Allow yourself that flexibility to grow and develop as a person. Respect that if you love to climb and kayak today, that might be baking and a book in front of the fire at other times.
But what can you do right now? I would start by journalling my thoughts on this topic. Joining clubs, or finding hobbies, or changing who your are fundamentally, can be daunting.
Id ask myself:
- What is important to me.
For me that's my free time, my health (as much sport as possible), my partner and my dog, being outdoors, and learning. If I don't read or learn something new each day it feels wasted.
- How can I get as much of that into my life as I can?
Well...I join walks in my area, I am teaching myself to swim (at 39 years old), i try to run every race which will give me a medal so I get a collection, I go to the gym for times a week, I set aside an hour or two each day to read.
- How does this help me?
I am more rounded as a person, I have more energy, I feel more fulfilled. And crucially, I have balance. I can give more to my work because I am more focused, and I can give more to my immediate network because I have more things to discuss with them than just my work.
Another suggestion is to read or study or learn something which is away from your field of work. This can be a great way to meet new people, develop a sense of identity and grow yourself. This can be something formal like another language, or a course offered locally.
But it can also be in your general reading/podcasting/YouTube. People who know what is going on in the world, their local politics, philosophy, history etc are people who are generally more interesting people. And they often find interests through these activities too such as volunteering or activism or simply something else to talk about than work.
I wish you the very best of luck in this, try it all, experience as much as you can.
David
This is a GREAT question, it is lovely to see that you have the introspection to be able to identify this part of yourself and have the desire to grow it.
The first things Id like to get across are:
1 - This is totally normal.
I have many colleagues and friends who are in the same boat, they lack a work life balance, especially after the COVID lock down period, and their sole focus on life is on work, their career, and the next meeting. This is even at 30, 40 years old, people who have a family and responsibilities outside of work, still struggle with this question.
2 - There is no right answer.
That is a lovely thing to hear in a place where you came to get all the right answers isn't it?
What might fit for you now, wont fit for you in a few years time, and it certainly wont fit for you in 20 years time. Allow yourself that flexibility to grow and develop as a person. Respect that if you love to climb and kayak today, that might be baking and a book in front of the fire at other times.
But what can you do right now? I would start by journalling my thoughts on this topic. Joining clubs, or finding hobbies, or changing who your are fundamentally, can be daunting.
Id ask myself:
- What is important to me.
For me that's my free time, my health (as much sport as possible), my partner and my dog, being outdoors, and learning. If I don't read or learn something new each day it feels wasted.
- How can I get as much of that into my life as I can?
Well...I join walks in my area, I am teaching myself to swim (at 39 years old), i try to run every race which will give me a medal so I get a collection, I go to the gym for times a week, I set aside an hour or two each day to read.
- How does this help me?
I am more rounded as a person, I have more energy, I feel more fulfilled. And crucially, I have balance. I can give more to my work because I am more focused, and I can give more to my immediate network because I have more things to discuss with them than just my work.
Another suggestion is to read or study or learn something which is away from your field of work. This can be a great way to meet new people, develop a sense of identity and grow yourself. This can be something formal like another language, or a course offered locally.
But it can also be in your general reading/podcasting/YouTube. People who know what is going on in the world, their local politics, philosophy, history etc are people who are generally more interesting people. And they often find interests through these activities too such as volunteering or activism or simply something else to talk about than work.
I wish you the very best of luck in this, try it all, experience as much as you can.
David
Ann Marie
Enablement
1
Answer
London, England, United Kingdom
Updated
Ann’s Answer
Hi Shaina,
This is a very common situation for a lot of people!
Working takes up a lot of energy and time so then directing that energy into something else can be a struggle.
My advice is to commit to trying one new activity, hobby etc each week/month (dependant on your schedule), and don't be disheartened if you try it and it's not for you - that's part of the process and at least you can say you've tried it! Hope that helps.
This is a very common situation for a lot of people!
Working takes up a lot of energy and time so then directing that energy into something else can be a struggle.
My advice is to commit to trying one new activity, hobby etc each week/month (dependant on your schedule), and don't be disheartened if you try it and it's not for you - that's part of the process and at least you can say you've tried it! Hope that helps.
Adaobi Maryann Ezeogidi
Healthcare Assistant
9
Answers
Abia, AB
Updated
Adaobi Maryann’s Answer
Hi Shaina,
This is the case with a lot of people out there.
First solution is self discovery, pointing out what is odd about you and would like to change.
Then writing down possible ways of adjustment, which includes working on your personal timetable, having time for family, selecting friends with similar social attitudes you intend to imbibe etc
Finally,application of what you've noted. Take these gradually, that is one at a time. Once you begin to get better in one then you try the next.
Don't forget to set your boundaries, apply wisdom and carefulness so as to be able to guide your actions not to get others irritated.
Please note: Be positive and open minded as you explore your new self.
Regards.
This is the case with a lot of people out there.
First solution is self discovery, pointing out what is odd about you and would like to change.
Then writing down possible ways of adjustment, which includes working on your personal timetable, having time for family, selecting friends with similar social attitudes you intend to imbibe etc
Finally,application of what you've noted. Take these gradually, that is one at a time. Once you begin to get better in one then you try the next.
Don't forget to set your boundaries, apply wisdom and carefulness so as to be able to guide your actions not to get others irritated.
Please note: Be positive and open minded as you explore your new self.
Regards.
James Constantine Frangos
Consultant Dietitian & Software Developer since 1972 => Nutrition Education => Health & Longevity => Self-Actualization.
6182
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Hello Shaina!
Cultivating Your Identity Outside of Work
Finding a balance between work and personal life is essential for overall well-being and fulfillment. Here are some steps you can take to cultivate your identity outside of work:
1. Explore Different Activities: Start by exploring various activities that interest you. While you mentioned that you don’t have hobbies or engage in traditional forms of entertainment like singing, dancing, arts and crafts, or sports, there are countless other activities you can try. Consider activities such as cooking, gardening, photography, writing, volunteering, hiking, meditation, or learning a new skill or language.
2. Reflect on Your Passions: Take some time to reflect on what truly excites and inspires you. Think about moments in your life when you felt the most alive and engaged. These experiences can provide clues about your passions and interests outside of work.
3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Sometimes, personal growth happens when we step out of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to try new things, even if they seem intimidating at first. This could involve joining a club or group related to a shared interest, attending community events, or taking a class in something completely unfamiliar to you.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Cultivating your identity outside of work also involves taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, such as reading a book, going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or spending quality time with loved ones.
5. Seek Support: If you’re struggling to develop a sense of self outside of work, consider seeking support from friends, family members, or a professional counselor. Talking about your feelings and experiences with others can provide valuable insights and encouragement.
Remember that cultivating your identity outside of work is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-discovery. By exploring new activities, reflecting on your passions, stepping out of your comfort zone, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support when needed, you can begin to develop a more well-rounded sense of self beyond your professional role.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used:
Psychology Today: Psychology Today is a trusted source for articles and resources related to personal development, mental health, relationships, and well-being. It offers expert insights on topics such as self-discovery and finding balance in life.
Harvard Business Review: Harvard Business Review provides valuable insights on career development strategies, work-life balance issues, leadership skills, and personal growth. Their articles often offer practical advice for professionals looking to enhance their overall well-being.
Mayo Clinic: Mayo Clinic is known for its reputable health information and resources. They offer guidance on stress management techniques, self-care practices, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to promote overall wellness.
These sources were consulted to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information provided in response to the question asked by the user regarding cultivating one’s identity outside of work.
God Bless,
JC.
Cultivating Your Identity Outside of Work
Finding a balance between work and personal life is essential for overall well-being and fulfillment. Here are some steps you can take to cultivate your identity outside of work:
1. Explore Different Activities: Start by exploring various activities that interest you. While you mentioned that you don’t have hobbies or engage in traditional forms of entertainment like singing, dancing, arts and crafts, or sports, there are countless other activities you can try. Consider activities such as cooking, gardening, photography, writing, volunteering, hiking, meditation, or learning a new skill or language.
2. Reflect on Your Passions: Take some time to reflect on what truly excites and inspires you. Think about moments in your life when you felt the most alive and engaged. These experiences can provide clues about your passions and interests outside of work.
3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Sometimes, personal growth happens when we step out of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to try new things, even if they seem intimidating at first. This could involve joining a club or group related to a shared interest, attending community events, or taking a class in something completely unfamiliar to you.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Cultivating your identity outside of work also involves taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, such as reading a book, going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or spending quality time with loved ones.
5. Seek Support: If you’re struggling to develop a sense of self outside of work, consider seeking support from friends, family members, or a professional counselor. Talking about your feelings and experiences with others can provide valuable insights and encouragement.
Remember that cultivating your identity outside of work is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-discovery. By exploring new activities, reflecting on your passions, stepping out of your comfort zone, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support when needed, you can begin to develop a more well-rounded sense of self beyond your professional role.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used:
Psychology Today: Psychology Today is a trusted source for articles and resources related to personal development, mental health, relationships, and well-being. It offers expert insights on topics such as self-discovery and finding balance in life.
Harvard Business Review: Harvard Business Review provides valuable insights on career development strategies, work-life balance issues, leadership skills, and personal growth. Their articles often offer practical advice for professionals looking to enhance their overall well-being.
Mayo Clinic: Mayo Clinic is known for its reputable health information and resources. They offer guidance on stress management techniques, self-care practices, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to promote overall wellness.
These sources were consulted to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information provided in response to the question asked by the user regarding cultivating one’s identity outside of work.
God Bless,
JC.
Barbara Patti
OKR Consultant at okrindo.com
14
Answers
Palo Alto, California
Updated
Barbara’s Answer
To cultivate your identity outside of work, start by exploring new activities or interests. Try reading, cooking, or volunteering. Attend local events or classes to meet new people and discover hobbies. Allocate specific time each week for non-work activities. Reflect on what you enjoyed as a child or what you've always wanted to try. Gradually, you'll find interests that help you develop a fulfilling life beyond work.
Joycelyn Canty
Operations Support Manager
2
Answers
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Updated
Joycelyn’s Answer
Shaina! Oh my goodness, the possibilities are endless for you to find a hobby/interest outside of work! The suggestions above are wonderful, but here's a few items that may be something to try if you're looking for an interest/hobby:
1. Go to your local recreation center or Parks and Recreation website and look for activities to try-there's a vast number of activities that can be found (depending on where you live) that are affordable and give you an opportunity to meet others.
2. Join an organization-you mentioned you have a good work ethic and discuss things that mostly pertain to work in your life. If you haven't already done so, seek out a professional organization to join-you can meet like minded folks, depending on your profession, and most of those groups have conferences, events, etc that relates to the profession but also has leisure built into the event for networking and to make being a part of the organization a worthwhile experience.
3. Volunteering-this can be an wonderful experience to give back and get perspective on helping others in the community. You can also meet people here too and discover a new passion or cause that you wouldn't have otherwise realized!
4. Join an online membership group/community-on social media there are all sorts of groups you can join online, to include groups with people who may be new to a town or need to get out more and don't socialize much but would like to. Be sure to research the online group to make sure it's legit and safe for you to join.
Hope this helps!
1. Go to your local recreation center or Parks and Recreation website and look for activities to try-there's a vast number of activities that can be found (depending on where you live) that are affordable and give you an opportunity to meet others.
2. Join an organization-you mentioned you have a good work ethic and discuss things that mostly pertain to work in your life. If you haven't already done so, seek out a professional organization to join-you can meet like minded folks, depending on your profession, and most of those groups have conferences, events, etc that relates to the profession but also has leisure built into the event for networking and to make being a part of the organization a worthwhile experience.
3. Volunteering-this can be an wonderful experience to give back and get perspective on helping others in the community. You can also meet people here too and discover a new passion or cause that you wouldn't have otherwise realized!
4. Join an online membership group/community-on social media there are all sorts of groups you can join online, to include groups with people who may be new to a town or need to get out more and don't socialize much but would like to. Be sure to research the online group to make sure it's legit and safe for you to join.
Hope this helps!
Michelle M.
Entertainment Industry
1879
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Shaina !
It seems as though you are starting to want a change and it is wonderful that you are reaching out for advice. Sometimes it takes time to discover things that we like to do, but you are on the right track to setting some doable goals and putting thought into action.
It begins with taking active steps to change things. Life experience is what inspires our likes and dislikes. We make these discoveries in our own way and in our own time. Perhaps you are feeling that now is the time for you to add things to your life. Just know that while you are not at work, you are someone very special who has a lot to offer.
My first advice that will support the rest of my advice is never compare yourself with others. You are great at work and that is a valuable trait. You may have hidden leadership capability that you can tap into for something you like doing outside of work. The way we find these things out is to just pick some things and actively experience them. You will meet new people who are into the same thing you are into and feel more connected. It's perfectly fine to not like the popular things a lot of people like. You have the capacity to choose your own activities and shape your off-work time the way you want. You have taken the first active step by reaching out to us here at Career Village and that is wonderful !
You have something very important and special to share with people. Things will not always be this way for you. When you are ready, think about what you would like to participate in and give it a try. It may be helpful to make a list of things that make you happy. Start reading more, take long walks and think about it more. You will be inspired when you are ready and only you can make that decision. Most of all, be patient with yourself as you go through the process.
I hope this is helpful and that the decisions you make along the way will add greatly to the changes you want to see. Best wishes to you always !
It seems as though you are starting to want a change and it is wonderful that you are reaching out for advice. Sometimes it takes time to discover things that we like to do, but you are on the right track to setting some doable goals and putting thought into action.
It begins with taking active steps to change things. Life experience is what inspires our likes and dislikes. We make these discoveries in our own way and in our own time. Perhaps you are feeling that now is the time for you to add things to your life. Just know that while you are not at work, you are someone very special who has a lot to offer.
My first advice that will support the rest of my advice is never compare yourself with others. You are great at work and that is a valuable trait. You may have hidden leadership capability that you can tap into for something you like doing outside of work. The way we find these things out is to just pick some things and actively experience them. You will meet new people who are into the same thing you are into and feel more connected. It's perfectly fine to not like the popular things a lot of people like. You have the capacity to choose your own activities and shape your off-work time the way you want. You have taken the first active step by reaching out to us here at Career Village and that is wonderful !
You have something very important and special to share with people. Things will not always be this way for you. When you are ready, think about what you would like to participate in and give it a try. It may be helpful to make a list of things that make you happy. Start reading more, take long walks and think about it more. You will be inspired when you are ready and only you can make that decision. Most of all, be patient with yourself as you go through the process.
I hope this is helpful and that the decisions you make along the way will add greatly to the changes you want to see. Best wishes to you always !
DENIS KIMETU
Musician
1
Answer
Nairobi, Nairobi County, Kenya
Updated
DENIS’s Answer
Explore New Activities: Try different activities to see what you might enjoy. This could include reading, cooking, hiking, gardening, or volunteering. Sometimes, you need to try several things before finding something that resonates with you.
Set Small Goals: Start with small, achievable goals. For instance, if you want to try reading, set a goal to read one book a month. Gradually, you can increase the difficulty and number of goals as you become more comfortable.
Join a Club or Group: Look for local clubs or groups that align with potential interests. This can be a book club, a hiking group, or a community service organization. Joining a group can also help you meet new people and build social connections.
Take a Class: Consider taking a class in something that piques your interest. This could be anything from cooking to photography, coding, or learning a new language. Structured learning can help you stay committed and make the process enjoyable.
Reflect on Past Interests: Think about things you enjoyed doing in the past, even if it was a long time ago. Reconnecting with an old hobby or interest can be a great way to rediscover a passion.
Mindfulness and Self-Discovery: Spend some time in self-reflection or mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling. Understanding yourself better can help you identify new interests and passions.
Socialize in New Ways: If socializing is challenging, start small by reaching out to colleagues or acquaintances for casual get-togethers. Over time, you can build deeper relationships and expand your social circle.
Balance Work and Personal Life: Ensure you're setting boundaries between work and personal time. It's important to give yourself the space to unwind and explore other
Set Small Goals: Start with small, achievable goals. For instance, if you want to try reading, set a goal to read one book a month. Gradually, you can increase the difficulty and number of goals as you become more comfortable.
Join a Club or Group: Look for local clubs or groups that align with potential interests. This can be a book club, a hiking group, or a community service organization. Joining a group can also help you meet new people and build social connections.
Take a Class: Consider taking a class in something that piques your interest. This could be anything from cooking to photography, coding, or learning a new language. Structured learning can help you stay committed and make the process enjoyable.
Reflect on Past Interests: Think about things you enjoyed doing in the past, even if it was a long time ago. Reconnecting with an old hobby or interest can be a great way to rediscover a passion.
Mindfulness and Self-Discovery: Spend some time in self-reflection or mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling. Understanding yourself better can help you identify new interests and passions.
Socialize in New Ways: If socializing is challenging, start small by reaching out to colleagues or acquaintances for casual get-togethers. Over time, you can build deeper relationships and expand your social circle.
Balance Work and Personal Life: Ensure you're setting boundaries between work and personal time. It's important to give yourself the space to unwind and explore other