Career questions tagged college-essay
Could you make comments and suggestions on my college essay please ?
Hello! I am a high school student from Macau. I will be studying aboard in the US in the fall of 2025 as an international student, and it is quite a challenge for a non-native writer and speaker to write a US college essay. Could you make some comments and suggestions on my college essay please? I know the word limit for the Common App essay is 650, and my essay exceed that, and I will shorten that later, but please let me know what do you think about this essay in general. Thank you very much🙏!! =================Start-of-the-essay================= In March 2023, I watched the re-screening of “Everything Everywhere All at Once” and fell in love with its multiverse setting. One scene, in particular, deeply resonates with me. The scene portrays how a single decision can drastically change the course of one’s life. In this scene, the main character, Evelyn, finds that if she hadn't eloped with Waymond, her future husband, she would have become a famous martial arts actress. Instead, in reality, she ends up running a struggling laundromat. One of my pivotal decisions happened five years ago. It was the summer of 2019, just after I graduated from primary school. It was about a passion that had been with me since childhood. Since I was a kid, I knew I really enjoyed building and inventing things. I spent most of my childhood playing with the tools and parts in my father's construction workshop. Once, because I didn't want to water the plants on the balcony individually, I built an automatic sprayer for plants by cutting a PVC pipe and drilling holes at intervals to water six plants all at once. During primary school, I joined the school’s handmade workshop to continue pursuing my love of creating and inventing. However, I realized I wanted more than just following the instructions of a robot kit manual; I want to create, not just assemble. Therefore, during the summer after I graduated from primary school, I started experimenting and engaging with Arduino, a microcontroller. My first Arduino project was an LCD timer with a buzzer and a force sensor on the seat that reminds me to stand up if I’ve been sitting too long. While working on this project, I experienced a deep and fulfilling enthusiasm that was entirely new to me, and I knew I had truly fallen in love with this feeling. Afterward, I decided to take it a step further. I planned to add a Bluetooth feature and create a mobile app to remind me to stand up through notifications. After some research, I designed the UI for my mobile app using MIT App Inventor. However, I faced a bottleneck while struggling to establish Bluetooth communication between the Arduino UNO and my mobile app. (I had no idea why the Arduino received a number when the mobile app sent a character). Despite my best efforts—spending days debugging, googling, and trying to solve the issue—I couldn't figure it out. My 12-year-old self realized that he could either continue debugging on his own, devoting more time and effort to solving the problem, or seize the opportunity to reach out to the high school teachers and upperclassmen, ask for help, and hopefully make connections with them. I had a lot of concerns. I feared being rejected or not taken seriously. It was such a struggle to take that first step in an unfamiliar environment. After much internal struggle, I gathered my courage and took my Arduino kit (which I bought from Taobao) with me, as the evening settled in, I found myself standing at the entrance of the high school workshop, in front of a sturdy metal door with a small side window. I took a glance through the small side window and saw some senior students working on their projects, some chatting in groups. Doubt filled my mind, I paced back and forth with trembling hands and felt even more like an outsider (though I was, literally). Then, at that moment, I knew that this was a chance I couldn't afford to miss. I gripped my Arduino kit even tighter, and pushed the door open. That evening marks the start of a six-year journey that ignites my passion for electromechanical engineering, physics, math, and science overall. It was then that I met two mentors for engineering: Mr. Lei and Mr. Wong. Mr. Lei guided me through countless engineering challenges. He taught me the fundamentals of programming (namely Processing, Python and C++), mechanical design (Fusion 360 CAD design), and Arduino development. Through the projects he guided me on, he showed me that true innovation requires research, planning, execution, analysis, and, more importantly, the ability to embrace failure. The courage I had to enter that door on that day changed the course of my life, and I recognized it as a power—the power of “jumping out of my comfort zone.” Since then, I have kept the courage from that day as a memento, and it has quietly guided me through the decisive moments in life, whether it was building a website portfolio from scratch, asking for an interview at a PC repair company even though I didn’t know how to fix a computer, deciding to study abroad or delivering a presentation in an essay competition. I remind myself of the power of stepping out of my comfort zone every time I need to make a challenging decision in life, trusting that my future self will appreciate the decision, even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly. Just like the story of Evelyn; in the end, even though she knows that eloping with Waymond means doing laundry and taxes every day, she still finds beauty in that life. =================End-of-the-essay=================
What part of the essay do the UC Berkeley admissions officers most appreciate, and what are some crucial elements to include?
Are there any facets to specifically include in my essay or application for UC Berkeley? What are some unique facts (i.e. UC Berkeley historical emphasis) to include in my application? As a dedicated rising junior with a passion for political science, business, and law, I'm driven by a profound interest in understanding legal systems. I aspire to leverage this passion into an undergraduate degree in political science, ultimately leading to pursuing a Juris Doctor (J.D.) degree. I believe in the power of change and am actively working to create change through activism. I am resourceful and determined, consistently demonstrating strong analytical capabilities and a robust work ethic. My organizational skills and ability to multitask efficiently enable me to excel in both academic and extracurricular endeavors. Collaboration is one of my strengths; I thrive in team environments and am committed to leading with positivity and integrity. Thank you in advance! I hope you have a wonderful day!
Do college applications have to be tragic?
Don't get me wrong, I can write about many tragic things that have happened in my life, but that doesn't make up who I am.
Can you comment on my college essay please?
Hello! I'm an international student and I came to the US to study my senior year of high school. As I started applying to colleges, I had to write an essay. I wrote this one but I have no clue how it is. I would appreciate some honest comments on it :) “We can come no further.” my mother said. I hugged her for the last time and she whispered in my ear, ”Good luck my butterfly!” and I walked through the gate without looking back. I knew from that moment I was walking into a whole new world. The struggles with my suitcases were telling me that in this new phase, my father would not be there to hold my suitcases for me; like anytime before. I was all on my own. The new world for me was the United States. That day, my flight was carrying me so that I would start my senior year of high school in America. It is not ordinary for teenagers to leave their homes in my country, Iran. In fact, people usually stick to their parents’ house until their mid-20s. So imagine how surprising it was for my family when I told them that I was planning to go not only to live in a dorm but in another country! The first reactions I encountered was to change my mind. “You don’t even know how to use a washing machine!” My mother told me. To be honest, she was right. For me, who was always in the full support of my family was hard to let go of everything suddenly. But I was eager to do so! I truly loved my life in Iran, but I felt that the world had much more to offer than what I already had. The fact that I was living in Iran which has limited opportunities was a strong reason. For example, I even had to travel to a neighboring country to get a visa because the American embassy does not exist in Iran! Do not get me wrong though; a big part of my heart always belongs to Iran. But I just felt like a butterfly surrendered by its own cocoon, as Mehdi Yarahi, an inspiring Persian singer says in his song. Iran was the muse for me to start risking out of my safe zone and end up in the land of opportunities. As I walked out of the plane onto American soil, I felt a mix of excitement and stress. After all, I was here! Right from that moment, my struggles started. I was starting to realize how difficult it is to deal with everything when you are alone and people around you are from a totally different culture. In the dorm, everybody had at least one person speaking their language, except me! I found it really hard at first; I would have gone to sleep with the thought that I had not spoken my language in days! Since most of the dormitory population was Asians, they had the privilege to at least feel like home when they were in the dorm; but for me, not only in school I was in a culture that had no similarity to mine, but the dorm also was nothing like my home. With the passage of time, I started to realize how being alone in such an environment was a blessing! There was no special place for me in any group, so I could be a part of every group. I had the opportunity to learn about other cultures and introduce mine to them as well. Also, my English skills improved unbelievably fast! I was so surprised at how things can change from pain to growth. Since my first day here, every day has been full of new things to discover. Although I was not enjoying every second of it, in the end, I am so proud of myself for managing to change from that spoiled girl to someone who believes has the power to overcome anything. As Bob Marley says: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Thank y'all!
Do I change my college essay topic or continue on?
I am in the process of writing my college essay on how the seeing the death of my dog (accidently ran over by a family member) affected me, how I wasn't able to grieve because I was too worried about the individual, and how seeing everything has impacted me with the overall lesson being that I realized how little I appreciated those around me and the time I was spending with them. I have since researched and seen that this is considered "something I shouldn't write about" as it is a pet story. My question to you all is should I continue with this topic or change it to something else?
Is a college essay about an admired family member unoriginal?
I am currently writing my application essay, and I plan on writing it about my relationship with my father and the positive impact he has on my upbringing through sports, school, and life skills. Is this a commonly seen essay that college admissions may be tired of reading?
how do i write a college admissions essay?
How do I decide what to write a college admissions essay about? everyone that i've read has been so philosophical and i just don't know where to start.
When should you start writing your college essays?
I'm going to be a junior after this summer and I'm wondering if I should start drafting my college essays right now.
How do I write a college essay specific to one college ("why this college") How do I write one that showcases my unique interests? ?
I am a current senior in High school. I would like to get a neuroscience major. I like nature a lot and music has helped me with my mental health stability. I sometimes feel like I don't know how to put my thoughts into words, how can I improve on that?
How to write a successful college essay?
Hi! I’m a high school junior hoping to get the most information about college tips! Right now I’m drafting my main college essay, and this question would help a lot. Thanks to all!
What are things college admission officers look for in an applicant's essay? What type of essays do admission officers generally dislike? #Spring23
I am in the process of writing my college essay and would really like to produce a remarkable essay.
How can I make my PIQ responses stand out?
I'm thinking about college essays and I'm unsure of how to respond to the prompts in a creative and unique manner. Are there any repetitive and predictable responses I should avoid?
What does college usually look at in a college essay?
I am about to write college essays for my college applications and would like to know how to make my application seem better than the rest. This will help me in writing my essay.
I will be applying for MS from USA, can anyone suggest me on writing SOPs and LORs.
I'm looking to pursue MS in CS from USA in 2023, I'm done with tests and will start with application process. Thanks
