Career questions tagged college-essay
Could you make comments and suggestions on my college essay please ?
Hello! I am a high school student from Macau. I will be studying aboard in the US in the fall of 2025 as an international student, and it is quite a challenge for a non-native writer and speaker to write a US college essay. Could you make some comments and suggestions on my college essay please? I know the word limit for the Common App essay is 650, and my essay exceed that, and I will shorten that later, but please let me know what do you think about this essay in general. Thank you very much🙏!! =================Start-of-the-essay================= In March 2023, I watched the re-screening of “Everything Everywhere All at Once” and fell in love with its multiverse setting. One scene, in particular, deeply resonates with me. The scene portrays how a single decision can drastically change the course of one’s life. In this scene, the main character, Evelyn, finds that if she hadn't eloped with Waymond, her future husband, she would have become a famous martial arts actress. Instead, in reality, she ends up running a struggling laundromat. One of my pivotal decisions happened five years ago. It was the summer of 2019, just after I graduated from primary school. It was about a passion that had been with me since childhood. Since I was a kid, I knew I really enjoyed building and inventing things. I spent most of my childhood playing with the tools and parts in my father's construction workshop. Once, because I didn't want to water the plants on the balcony individually, I built an automatic sprayer for plants by cutting a PVC pipe and drilling holes at intervals to water six plants all at once. During primary school, I joined the school’s handmade workshop to continue pursuing my love of creating and inventing. However, I realized I wanted more than just following the instructions of a robot kit manual; I want to create, not just assemble. Therefore, during the summer after I graduated from primary school, I started experimenting and engaging with Arduino, a microcontroller. My first Arduino project was an LCD timer with a buzzer and a force sensor on the seat that reminds me to stand up if I’ve been sitting too long. While working on this project, I experienced a deep and fulfilling enthusiasm that was entirely new to me, and I knew I had truly fallen in love with this feeling. Afterward, I decided to take it a step further. I planned to add a Bluetooth feature and create a mobile app to remind me to stand up through notifications. After some research, I designed the UI for my mobile app using MIT App Inventor. However, I faced a bottleneck while struggling to establish Bluetooth communication between the Arduino UNO and my mobile app. (I had no idea why the Arduino received a number when the mobile app sent a character). Despite my best efforts—spending days debugging, googling, and trying to solve the issue—I couldn't figure it out. My 12-year-old self realized that he could either continue debugging on his own, devoting more time and effort to solving the problem, or seize the opportunity to reach out to the high school teachers and upperclassmen, ask for help, and hopefully make connections with them. I had a lot of concerns. I feared being rejected or not taken seriously. It was such a struggle to take that first step in an unfamiliar environment. After much internal struggle, I gathered my courage and took my Arduino kit (which I bought from Taobao) with me, as the evening settled in, I found myself standing at the entrance of the high school workshop, in front of a sturdy metal door with a small side window. I took a glance through the small side window and saw some senior students working on their projects, some chatting in groups. Doubt filled my mind, I paced back and forth with trembling hands and felt even more like an outsider (though I was, literally). Then, at that moment, I knew that this was a chance I couldn't afford to miss. I gripped my Arduino kit even tighter, and pushed the door open. That evening marks the start of a six-year journey that ignites my passion for electromechanical engineering, physics, math, and science overall. It was then that I met two mentors for engineering: Mr. Lei and Mr. Wong. Mr. Lei guided me through countless engineering challenges. He taught me the fundamentals of programming (namely Processing, Python and C++), mechanical design (Fusion 360 CAD design), and Arduino development. Through the projects he guided me on, he showed me that true innovation requires research, planning, execution, analysis, and, more importantly, the ability to embrace failure. The courage I had to enter that door on that day changed the course of my life, and I recognized it as a power—the power of “jumping out of my comfort zone.” Since then, I have kept the courage from that day as a memento, and it has quietly guided me through the decisive moments in life, whether it was building a website portfolio from scratch, asking for an interview at a PC repair company even though I didn’t know how to fix a computer, deciding to study abroad or delivering a presentation in an essay competition. I remind myself of the power of stepping out of my comfort zone every time I need to make a challenging decision in life, trusting that my future self will appreciate the decision, even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly. Just like the story of Evelyn; in the end, even though she knows that eloping with Waymond means doing laundry and taxes every day, she still finds beauty in that life. =================End-of-the-essay=================
Macau
What part of the essay do the UC Berkeley admissions officers most appreciate, and what are some crucial elements to include?
Are there any facets to specifically include in my essay or application for UC Berkeley? What are some unique facts (i.e. UC Berkeley historical emphasis) to include in my application? As a dedicated rising junior with a passion for political science, business, and law, I'm driven by a profound interest in understanding legal systems. I aspire to leverage this passion into an undergraduate degree in political science, ultimately leading to pursuing a Juris Doctor (J.D.) degree. I believe in the power of change and am actively working to create change through activism. I am resourceful and determined, consistently demonstrating strong analytical capabilities and a robust work ethic. My organizational skills and ability to multitask efficiently enable me to excel in both academic and extracurricular endeavors. Collaboration is one of my strengths; I thrive in team environments and am committed to leading with positivity and integrity. Thank you in advance! I hope you have a wonderful day!
Southlake
Do college applications have to be tragic?
Don't get me wrong, I can write about many tragic things that have happened in my life, but that doesn't make up who I am.
Norton
Can you comment on my college essay please?
Hello! I'm an international student and I came to the US to study my senior year of high school. As I started applying to colleges, I had to write an essay. I wrote this one but I have no clue how it is. I would appreciate some honest comments on it :) “We can come no further.” my mother said. I hugged her for the last time and she whispered in my ear, ”Good luck my butterfly!” and I walked through the gate without looking back. I knew from that moment I was walking into a whole new world. The struggles with my suitcases were telling me that in this new phase, my father would not be there to hold my suitcases for me; like anytime before. I was all on my own. The new world for me was the United States. That day, my flight was carrying me so that I would start my senior year of high school in America. It is not ordinary for teenagers to leave their homes in my country, Iran. In fact, people usually stick to their parents’ house until their mid-20s. So imagine how surprising it was for my family when I told them that I was planning to go not only to live in a dorm but in another country! The first reactions I encountered was to change my mind. “You don’t even know how to use a washing machine!” My mother told me. To be honest, she was right. For me, who was always in the full support of my family was hard to let go of everything suddenly. But I was eager to do so! I truly loved my life in Iran, but I felt that the world had much more to offer than what I already had. The fact that I was living in Iran which has limited opportunities was a strong reason. For example, I even had to travel to a neighboring country to get a visa because the American embassy does not exist in Iran! Do not get me wrong though; a big part of my heart always belongs to Iran. But I just felt like a butterfly surrendered by its own cocoon, as Mehdi Yarahi, an inspiring Persian singer says in his song. Iran was the muse for me to start risking out of my safe zone and end up in the land of opportunities. As I walked out of the plane onto American soil, I felt a mix of excitement and stress. After all, I was here! Right from that moment, my struggles started. I was starting to realize how difficult it is to deal with everything when you are alone and people around you are from a totally different culture. In the dorm, everybody had at least one person speaking their language, except me! I found it really hard at first; I would have gone to sleep with the thought that I had not spoken my language in days! Since most of the dormitory population was Asians, they had the privilege to at least feel like home when they were in the dorm; but for me, not only in school I was in a culture that had no similarity to mine, but the dorm also was nothing like my home. With the passage of time, I started to realize how being alone in such an environment was a blessing! There was no special place for me in any group, so I could be a part of every group. I had the opportunity to learn about other cultures and introduce mine to them as well. Also, my English skills improved unbelievably fast! I was so surprised at how things can change from pain to growth. Since my first day here, every day has been full of new things to discover. Although I was not enjoying every second of it, in the end, I am so proud of myself for managing to change from that spoiled girl to someone who believes has the power to overcome anything. As Bob Marley says: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Thank y'all!
United States
Do I change my college essay topic or continue on?
I am in the process of writing my college essay on how the seeing the death of my dog (accidently ran over by a family member) affected me, how I wasn't able to grieve because I was too worried about the individual, and how seeing everything has impacted me with the overall lesson being that I realized how little I appreciated those around me and the time I was spending with them. I have since researched and seen that this is considered "something I shouldn't write about" as it is a pet story. My question to you all is should I continue with this topic or change it to something else?
United States
Is a college essay about an admired family member unoriginal?
I am currently writing my application essay, and I plan on writing it about my relationship with my father and the positive impact he has on my upbringing through sports, school, and life skills. Is this a commonly seen essay that college admissions may be tired of reading?
Willmar
how do i write a college admissions essay?
How do I decide what to write a college admissions essay about? everyone that i've read has been so philosophical and i just don't know where to start.
Wilmington
When should you start writing your college essays?
I'm going to be a junior after this summer and I'm wondering if I should start drafting my college essays right now.
Chicago
How do I write a college essay specific to one college ("why this college") How do I write one that showcases my unique interests? ?
I am a current senior in High school. I would like to get a neuroscience major. I like nature a lot and music has helped me with my mental health stability. I sometimes feel like I don't know how to put my thoughts into words, how can I improve on that?
Cumming
How to write a successful college essay?
Hi! I’m a high school junior hoping to get the most information about college tips! Right now I’m drafting my main college essay, and this question would help a lot. Thanks to all!
Sussex
What are things college admission officers look for in an applicant's essay? What type of essays do admission officers generally dislike? #Spring23
I am in the process of writing my college essay and would really like to produce a remarkable essay.
Elkridge
How can I make my PIQ responses stand out?
I'm thinking about college essays and I'm unsure of how to respond to the prompts in a creative and unique manner. Are there any repetitive and predictable responses I should avoid?
San Francisco
What does college usually look at in a college essay?
I am about to write college essays for my college applications and would like to know how to make my application seem better than the rest. This will help me in writing my essay.
Worcester
I will be applying for MS from USA, can anyone suggest me on writing SOPs and LORs.
I'm looking to pursue MS in CS from USA in 2023, I'm done with tests and will start with application process. Thanks
Jaipur
How can you make your college essay original?
#high-school #college-essay
New York
How can you come up with interesting stories to tell in your college essay?
#college #college-applications #college-essay
Winter ParkWhat are scholarship essay judges usually looking for, aside from good grammar and syntax?
When someone is applying for a scholarship that includes an essay, how do the judges usually choose the winner? Obviously it will vary based on the topic, but what makes up a good scholarship essay? #scholarship #scholarships #scholarship-essay #college-essay
Kansas City
What steps should I take when writing my college essays?
Is there anything specific I should or should’t do when writing my college essay? What are the most common mistakes others make and how can they be fixed? Should I show my teachers for help? #essay #college-essay
EastvaleWhat can better me into getting a better chance with the essay scholarships?
I'm a very lazy person especially when it comes to writing. But when work needs to be put into it I will do it. I don't understand how people can get a scholarship just by using the same phrase over and over then bam get in. It frankly is not the way I want to stand out. Overall I'm asking for suggestions. #scholarships #college-essay
Forsyth
How formal should my college essays be?
I'm a bit unsure as to the exact style in which admissions are expecting essays. I was told to make them both personal and professional, but I'm not quite sure how to integrate the two. One person said I should avoid contractions at all costs and another said it is most important that the writing sounds like it's coming from me. Any advice? #college-essay #college-admissions #writing
Rochester
What are the most common topics on scholarship essays?
I want to stand out and be different from everyone else, so I think it would be very beneficial to know what not to right about. #scholarships #different #financial-aid #college-essay
Jefferson CityIs it okay to listen to music while studying?
I always listen to music or put the tv as background noise while I'm studying and I feel like it helps me concentrate (when I feel like it's bothering me or I get to a harder topic I turn it off), but every time my sister comes to my room and sees me doing this she always gives me a lecture that I'm not studying right. Is it okay to listen to music while studying even if I feel like is not harming my understanding in any way? #music #studying-tips #studying #test #college-essay #finals
Vancouver
When applying to universities, the people at admissions always enjoy reading unconventional essays. How does one know that what they are writing fits this criteria?
I've been watching many interviews and videos about how the people at the admissions department enjoy unique essays as well as students who believe their essays are what really helped them get into the university. How can you make sure that one is writing something on the flamboyant side? #college #university #college-admissions #college-bound #college-recruiting #university-applications #college-essay #university-recruiting
Los Angeles
Can someone proofread my college transfer essay?
Essay prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (250-650 words) I have always challenged myself academically, I have taken advanced placement and honors classes throughout high school. I grew accustomed to the rigorous standard of learning that was the norm in those environments. To my surprise this was not the case when I had entered my first class at community college, English. The class was mundane, the instruction was slow, and the material was woefully basic. I dreaded going to that class because it did not stimulate me mentally. I grew bored with my studies. Although I was getting A’s in these classes, I felt stifled, as though my potential as a student was not being nurtured. I kept looking for extracurricular activities to challenge myself, anything to break up the ever-growing monotony that engulfed me. I seek challenges in my life, I seek adversity. I never want to wonder what could have been. I must continue to push myself to the absolute limit. To challenge myself, to transfer to a university that pushes its students to reach academic greatness. An institution of higher learning that instills the values of rigorous learning. One that hosts highly competitive students, each as motivated as the last. And to push those students further than they have ever been, a faculty of professors, each expert in their fields with many years of experience. I wish to leave my mark on the field of computer science, and this institution can do that for me. I accepted community college, for a while at least. I received a generous scholarship for my performance in high school that helped ease the financial burden to my family and me. It was at the time, the logical choice. I never considered applying to a prestigious institution. A year of drudgery and boredom had passed before that changed. I received an email, I had been accepted to the Johns Hopkins University Hackathon “MedHacks 2.0.” I accepted quickly. I arrived at the Bloomberg Center for Physics and Astronomy and my first feeling was that of belonging. The conversations around me were mesmerizing, students were discussing ways of treating millions of people through the means of Artificial Intelligence for a fraction of what it costs now. The memories of that first English class melted away, and into that void entered visions of the future, my future. As I walked through the halls, taking in the atmosphere I was reminded of a quote, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” To discuss ideas that have the potential to enrich lives, I must be surrounded by great minds. I was finally about to make my mark on the world of computer science. I had made the leap, and within two hours I was placed within a team of highly skilled students. I sacrificed sleep to learn JavaScript and AngularJS to contribute to the front-end development of the project. Within thirty-six hours I had learned more about leadership, team building and project management than I had at a year of community college. I evolved from being a complete novice to being a leader of my own team at my next hackathon. I long to be a part of a community of “great minds” where students and professors share a common passion with me—computer science. Instead of taking a step back from high school, I look to walk into a college lecture where the professor and students are actively challenging each other through a series of intellectual questions. I believe strenuous moments are what really pushes someone to maximize his or her potential, perhaps even raising it. Being at one of the top schools in the nation, I can effectively strengthen my computer science background to help improve society through software applications and research in machine learning and robotics. With the talent and resources at my disposal, there is no doubt a contributing alumnus who helps facilitate future research and development. #college-admissions #writing #college-recruiting #university-applications #college-essay
WeymouthWhat is a good way to ensure that your scholarship essay/form/answer gets considered?
I want to be prepared for when I begin applying for scholarships and such as I am in high school now. #scholarships #college-essay
1950 3rd StWhat do people look for in a scholarship application?
I am going to be searching for scholarships this upcoming year, and I would like to know what to highlight or include in order to benefit my chances. #scholarships #colleges #scholarship #college-essay
Raymondville
What are important factors in accepted college applications to the Ivy League?
A dream would be to be accepted to an Ivy League university and I was wondering what would be important in an acceptance. #college #college-bound #ivy-league #application #college-essay
PlanoWhat makes a successful college essay?
I am thinking of starting my college essays and don't know what to include in it. #college #college-essay
Plano
How to stand out in teacher's minds and think outside the box?
Hello again. This question seems absurd in itself as the answers are very gray not black and white. However, I am going to be a college freshman next year and am trying to get outside my comfort zone. I am just realizing that there truly is no normal and I should stop asking people what they think and ask myself first. So this is why the question seems pointless. But still, how should I go in writing papers or projects that approach a different way? To end with a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education." #professor #college-bound #college-essay #life-transitions
Little Rock